NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE
by overgrons
Summary: "The worst way to miss a person is when they're right next to you and you know you can't have them, no matter how close you are."


Quinn's gaze shifted over to her left where a certain blue eyed blonde sat - his eyes shining with delight and his mouth full of pearly white teeth. His hand was only centimeters away and she could help but to smile at the site until his hand slowly slipped off the bench they were sitting on to rest on his knee instead.

Quietly to herself, she sighed as she turned towards the field that the Glee Club had chosen to hold their picnic at. It was a bright summer afternoon, warm enough for a sundress but there was still a gentle breeze rolling through the air that would occasionally blow through the loose strands of her blonde hair. Yellow daises were starting to sprout from the grass covered hills and Quinn watched as Finn and Rachel danced around the compound, their laughter mixing with Puck's stories of Beth as he chattered quietly with Artie. Mike and Tina were over by the little pond near the outskirts of the park, shielded from the sun by the large oak tree that hung over the water but her attention was simply focused on the boy beside her. The boy that she had always loved. She didn't even have to ask to know what he was thinking about because she could tell by the way he was staring at the girl across the field, a brunette with big brown eyes and a sweet, innocent smile.

Mercedes was sitting next to Kurt and Blaine, chattering happily about what Quinn assumed was probably nothing. Her mouth was moving animatedly as she laughed but occasionally she'd catch a glimpse of the other girl turning her head just slightly to catch Sam's gaze and then he would smile over at her and wink and her heart would drop.

Still, she didn't say anything. She just sighed, her head rising a little to get a better look over the field. The soft, blonde curls she wore in her hair today fell down her back, her white sleeveless sundress moving against her knees as the low winds began to roll through the air.

"Quinn?" Upon hearing her name, she turned, her hazel eyes directing their attention to the blonde beside her.

"Yes, Sam?" She asked curiously, her expression brightening but she doubt he noticed.

Sam just shook his head with a little chuckle as he reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. She smiled then, as he opened his mouth to speak but the voice that followed was not his. It was Mercedes' voice.

"Sam!"

The two turned to see her now standing from her spot in the grass, waving happily over to her boyfriend. "Come here!"

Sam just sighed and Quinn detected a small inward groan as he spoke. "I guess I should go."

"Oh, yeah. You probably should." She forced a smile at him as they both stood simontenously. Sam turned to walk away, offering her a little wave and one last side-glance She waved in return and then he was gone.

Scanning the rest of the area, Quinn let out a third sigh as she gathered up her things and began to walk up the hill towards her car, her heart aching. All she really wanted now was a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a sappy romance movie - she knew that it probably wasn't the best solution but honestly, she didn't really care anymore.

Once she was home safe and sound, she curled up under her yellow comforter, the heat of the soft cushiony fabric radiating against her body. She sniffled, her eyes puffy from crying and her nose red from the dozen of times she'd wiped it with a tissue. Quinn knew that it was pathetic to be so upset over something that she couldn't change. After all, she'd both had and ruined her chances with Sam, so she really didn't have the right to be upset but she couldn't help it. Sam had been the only guy that had ever treated her right; the only one that had truly made her happy.

Clicking her TV off with the remote, Quinn glanced up from her bed and over at the window, watching as fat raindrops splattered against the glass. The weather had been decent all day but on her way home it'd started to sprinkle. Now it was full on raining - she could hear the soft pitter patter of the water hitting the sidewalk, but what stood out the most was the soft thud against her window. Slipping out from under her covers, Quinn's face twisted in confusion as she began walking cautiously towards the window, the thumping sound continuously echoing throughout her quiet room.

Opening the window, she let her gaze drop down to the grassy compound of her front yard, her hazel eyes landing on the drenched blonde that was standing there, pebbles in hand. He just smiled at her and mouthed the words 'Hey.'

"Sam?" Quinn called down, her eyebrow raising in surprise. He held up a finger then as if to tell her to give him a second and then quickly began to climb the tree next to her window. His fast abilities on the football field helped and within seconds he was climbing carefully from the branch and into her room.

Crossing her arms, Quinn licked her lips as her gaze finally landed on his face. "What are you doing here?"

Sam looked up sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, something Quinn knew he always did when he was nervous. He glanced up at her and took a step closer, opening his mouth as if he was going to speak but for some reason he couldn't find the words he'd gone over almost a hundred times on his way to her house. She just watched him, an eyebrow raised as her gaze slowly travelled down his body. Quinn hadn't meant to look, but she couldn't help it; his clothes were wet and sticking to his body and she could see the drops of water starting to collect in his dirty blonde hair.

After a moment of silence, Sam licked his lips and glanced down at her. At this point, the two of them were only inches apart. Quinn could feel his warm breath hit her face as he leaned down, their gazes finally meeting. Her heart began to pound in her chest when he dipped his head down and slowly but surely pressed his lips against hers, eliciting a soft gasp from her. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, even when his lips trembled against hers. Instead, she just slipped her arms around his neck as his hands moved to cup her warm cheeks, pulling her closer to his body.

A small, content sigh escaped her mouth and Sam took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue past her pink lips to explore, carefully pressing her up against the wall. His clothes were wet against hers and some of the excess water began to soak into the thin fabric of her nightgown, causing it to stick to her body, her pink bra starting to show. Slowly, Sam's hand moved from her cheek to tangle into her hair softly, bringing her a little closer as he pressed his lips harder to hers.

After a moment or two, Quinn quickly pulled away and blinked at him in total shock, trying to process what had just happened. It'd been so long since she'd last felt his lips on hers, his hands against her skin. Biting down on her lip, she let her hazel eyes land on his blue ones and he smiled at her reassuringly. That was all it took before she took his hand and lead him over to her bed, sitting him down on the edge before she moved to sit in his lap and pressed her lips back to his passionately.

Quinn sucked in a sharp breath as his warm, calloused hand slid between them and moved under her nightgown to brush his fingertips along her bare stomach. She shivered and carefully lowered them back, nipping at his lower lip softly as if to ask for permission. His lips parted and he carefully rolled them over as her fingertips slid up underneath the fabric of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, tossing it to the side. He did the same with her night gown, taking his sweet time to explore the curves and contours of her body before his fingertips came to rest undearneath her breasts a little hesitantly. She nodded at him, as if to tell him it was okay and this seemed to encourage him a bit because he gently began to trace along the outline of her nipples before his hand closed around her breast and he started to knead them softly, causing her to let out a small moan.

Breaking the kiss, Sam dipped his head down to press a few sweet kisses against her shoulder blade before his kissed along her collarbone and then to her neck, his fingers caressing the skin beneath her breasts. Quinn's hands traced up his muscular arms and into his hair, disheveling the dirty blonde locks as her head tilted back and she let out a small whimper.

Upon hearing this, Sam's gaze traveled upwards until it was resting on her beautiful face. The angelic blonde waves of her hair circled her head and framed her face, bringing out the light hazel color of her eyes. Her soft pink lips were open and the little gasps she was making every time he kissed her neck was like music to his ears. Licking his lips, his free hand trailed down her stomach, fingers grazing the soft skin lightly until they stopped to rest against the pink fabric of her panties. His kisses slowed then and he pulled back just enough to be able to see her face, his eyes gazing softly, lovingly into hers. "Quinn… can I?"

Glancing up at him, Quinn bit down on her lip as she considered their situation for a moment. Last time she'd been like this with a guy, things had ended badly. This was Sam, though - not Puck, she reminded herself. He was sweet, gentle, and he cared about her. Not only did she trust him completely, but she loved him and she knew that he'd never do anything to hurt her. So, she simply just nodded, offering him a reassuring smile as her hips pressed up against his hand, encouraging him to touch her.

Seeing her smile light up her face, Sam couldn't help but to return it as he leaned down to kiss her, softly at first before it grew a bit more passionate. Carefully, his fingers slipped beneath the elastic of the thin fabric of her panties and he was surprised to see that she was already wet for him and just as eager as he was.

A gasp escaped her mouth as he pressed his thumb to her clit and her back arched when his finger finally slid into her hot, wet core - first one, and then two. Slowly but surely, he began to build up a decent pace, earning a few soft moans from Quinn in response. Occasionally, his thumb would press against her sensitive bundle of nerves and he'd apply a bit of pressure, or his fingers would curl inside her, causing her to grip a fistful of her bed sheets and bunch them tightly in her hands as her body shuddered beneath his touch. Each little reaction from her was both rewarding and left him staring down at her in awe as he leaned his forehead against hers, their gazes locked. Even like this, she was beautiful. He wasn't surprised, though, because Quinn Fabray was always beautiful. She was the prettiest girl he'd ever laid his eyes on.

Suddenly, he could feel her body tense and then she was tightening around him, mumbling his name in between her soft gasps and pants of pleasure. His fingers slowed, allowing her to ride out her orgasm before they finally came to a stop and she was left gasping for air as he stroked her cheek with his free hand, pressing several tiny kisses against her jaw.

When she finally came down from the high that Sam had given her, Quinn's hazel eyes fluttered open, only to find Sam's blue-green ones staring back at her intently, a goofy smile plastered along his lips. She couldn't help but to smile back at him, reaching up to stroke his cheek softly. He leaned down to kiss her lips carefully and sweetly, his hand moving from her hair to her shoulder down to his stomach where his fingers curled around her ribcage and he began to tickle her, causing her to squeal.

"Sam!" She giggled then, her laughter causing his eyes to shine bright with joy. He'd missed hearing her laugh and seeing her smile. He knew her better than anybody else, whether she wanted to admit it or not and he also knew that the smile she wore to Glee club every day was not genuine. He always saw right past her facade.

He continued to tickle her sides for a moment or two longer before Quinn let out one last giggle and laid her head back against the pillow. Sam settled next to her, his arm draping across her waist. She couldn't help but to smile at the gesture and settle against him in a spooning position, her eyes closing when she felt him grin against her shoulder.

This was all too good to be true, really. She'd spent the past two or three months thinking that Sam wanted nothing to do with her, that she was no longer important to him and that he'd forgotten everything that they'd had together. Quinn had seen the way that he'd looked at Mercedes; the way he'd sang to her, just like he used to do for her. She'd seen the way that he'd fought so hard for her, going against her wishes just to get her back within his reach. He'd never fought for her, instead he'd just tossed her right to the side for Santana. Not that she didn't deserve it, because she had cheated on him with Finn but if he'd really loved her as much as he claimed he did, wouldn't he have fought for her too? However, none of that mattered anymore. At least, not now. Not after what had just happened. Any doubts that she'd had about his feelings were pushed to the back of her mind for her sub-concious to deal with another time.

That was until another thought crossed her mind and her eyes shot open. Carefully, Quinn slipped out of his arms and slid as far away from Sam as her bed would allow, her covers coming up to cover herself. Sam sat up, his face contorting in confusion. She simply just shook her head, her once joyful eyes shining with fright. "Mercedes."

And then it hit him, too. He opened his mouth to speak, but there was nothing to say. So, instead he just gulped and looked down at his hands, feeling the guilt begin to bubble up inside him. How was he supposed to explain this to her? His girlfriend? After everything he'd went through with Quinn cheating on him, he swore to himself that he'd never make that same mistake but this was different. This was Quinn… his Quinn. He'd loved her since the day he'd laid his eyes on her. She'd always been his girl. Not Santana, not Brittany, not even Mercedes. She might've made him happy but it was nothing compared to the way he felt about the blonde across the bed from him. Nothing could compare to her.

Slowly, Sam shuffled over to where she sat on the bed, his hand sliding up and down her arm comfortingly as he pulled her against him. She was reluctant at first and kept her gaze firmly on her hands until he lifted her chin with his free hand and noticed the tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. "Q, don't cry." His voice was soft and quiet, soothing almost and he hoped it would help calm her down. Unfortunately, it didn't.

"Sam, this isn't right." Quinn whispered as she pulled back from him, looking back down to her hands. "I-I can't. Mercedes is my friend, this is not fair."

She climbed out of the bed this time, wrapping the sheet securely around body as she bent down to pick up his discarded shirt. Straightening back up, she offered it to him but Sam just shook his head, causing her to sigh. "Sam, take them. Please. You have to go." She refused to look into his eyes and he could feel his heart starting to ache. This wasn't how he'd planned for all of this to go. He hadn't wanted to hurt her and he hated seeing her on the verge of tears.

"Listen, Q, I could… we could…" She finally glanced up at him at his words, but any hope that he'd gotten from it was quickly shattered when she shook her head.

"We could what? What could we do? Nothing. We can't do anything because this isn't fair to Mercedes." He opened his mouth to speak but Quinn shushed him quickly. "You didn't speak to me for weeks, months, even when you found out that I kissed Finn while we were together. You said so yourself. Cheating is selfish, and it's wrong." His mouth opened again but she shook her head one last time. "Even if we wanted to, you wouldn't. You know it, and I know it. You're a good guy, Sam. You always have been. You would look straight into Mercedes' eyes and melt. Forget all about me…" Quinn's gaze dropped to her hands. "That's always how it is."

Sam just stared at her, his mouth hanging half-way open as he listened to the words fall from her lips. She was right - they both knew it. His heart had shattered into a million pieces when Santana had told him that Quinn had cheated on him with Finn. She had been his everything - the only girl that he'd ever loved. He'd even given her a promise ring, one that he'd spent almost his entire life savings on and it had all been thrown back in his face. He remembered just how he'd felt that night, after learning the news. He'd cried, even, because it just hurt so bad and he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't do that to Mercedes; she'd never done anything wrong, but at the same time this was Quinn Fabray. His angel. His first and only love, and he wasn't about to just let her slip away again.

So, he did the only sensible thing he could think of. He stood from where he sat on her bed, cupped her cheeks, and leaned down to press his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. She didn't resist him like he'd expected her to - she kissed him back with equal fervor and lingered there until he pulled away to lean his head against her forehead, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he gazed into her eyes.

Quinn opened her mouth to speak but this time he shushed her. "The worst way to miss a person is when they're right next to you and you know you can't have them, no matter how close you are." Her hazel eyes softened as he brushed his nose against hers gently. "That's how I feel about you, Quinn. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met in my life. You're so talented, smart, and determined. You have this drive about you… and I don't really know how to explain it, but I've never seen anything like it in my life." Sam could see tears beginning to well in her eyes again and he shook his head, moving his thumbs up to brush them away carefully. "Sh, don't cry. What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Quinn Fabray. I've always loved you, I never stopped. I know we've had our ups and downs and that we've been through a lot of shit, but you're everything to me. You're always on my mind and not being with you… it kills me. Every day."

She sniffled, feeling her heart begin to pound in her chest with each word that he spoke. She'd been wrong about him this entire time. She'd thought that he wanted nothing to do with her; that he was happier than he'd ever been with Mercedes. That's what he'd led her to believe, anyway, with the way the two were constantly laughing and smiling as they walked down the hall hand in hand. She'd been almost positive that she didn't stand a chance with him anymore and really, why would she? After everything she'd done? Shaking her head, she glanced down at her hands. "But Merc-"

"Mercedes isn't important to me." Sam finished for her, his finger sliding under her chin to tilt her head up so he could meet her gaze again. "She's a nice girl and she deserves somebody that's going to love her. I don't. I love you." He offered her a smile, his thumb stroking her cheek softly. "Can we please start over? I'll talk to Mercedes tomorrow and break things off. I'll do anything it takes, I swear… I want to be with you, Quinn."

Quinn simply just nodded in response to him, in complete loss for words. Leaning up, she pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss, her arms sliding around his neck. Actions always spoke louder than words, and so the two lingered there for a long time, Sam's arms sliding around her tiny waist to pull her closer.

Several moments passed before Quinn finally pulled away to breath, her head falling to rest against his shoulder. She was quiet for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of him holding her again before she finally sighed contently and opened her mouth to speak. "Sam?"

Sam's eyebrow rose as he glanced down at his fair haired beauty, tightening his grip around her waist. "Yeah, Q?"

"I love you, too."


End file.
